Tuesday Notes: Weis To Head Up Playcalling, Takeout

After releasing RB Fred Taylor on Monday, the Jaguars made it clear that Maurice Jones-Drew is their man.  With a huge contract imminent, Jones-Drew says he is looking at adding a third last name, "probably something starting with a 'Q'."

Following the transfer of QB Steven "Lesser of Two Evils" Threet, University of Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez is left to choose a starter from a trio that includes two incoming freshman and returner Nick "I Wish I Was Mediocre" Sheridan.  Rodriguez says that all three will compete for the spot this fall, and "if that fails, there's always Craig's List."

During a recent trip to the grocery store, former Jets and Packers QB Brett Favre wondered aloud if he had made another mistake by retiring again.  He was immediately punched in the face by a bagboy.

Fox is reportedly considering giving former New York Giants DE Michael Strahan a sitcom deal.  Current Vegas odds are 5:1 that the show will be called "Two and a Half Sacks."

In an interview on the Atlanta Falcons' website, GM Thomas Dimitroff said that the team intends to trade QB Michael Vick's contractual rights to another team.  "In the interest of achieving ultimate irony, I would prefer to trade him to Cleveland," Dimitroff added, nudging coach Mike Smith and giggling, "Get it?  The Dawg Pound?  Get it?"

In addition to taking over playcalling duties for next season, Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis has also decided to take over pizza ordering.  "The guy we had last year was getting mediums and veggie pizzas and stuff.  That's the sort of thing I won't tolerate on my staff."